Culture Wars From a Distance
I am back in my hometown in the countryside of Brazil with my kids and family for a part of the summer. Our days are now focused on soccer classes, visiting family and eating/cooking. Life is slow and my kids are spending a lot of time watching tv. I have a hard time slowing down but, the older I get, the more I value these days where all I try to accomplish is to raise my kids and spend time with family and friends. How different it feels to our life in the US…
In the US I am constantly trying to fit so much in one day and yet here we save a lot of time for naps and for the kids to have free time (Although I am trying to not worry about how much Dude Perfect they are watching!) The Ukraine war, French riots, and American culture wars seem so distant from my home in Brazil. But I know all these events will soon affect our lives no matter what.
What the ‘Culture Wars’ Mean When a World Away
We haven't touched on the ‘culture wars’ on this site, because like most Americans, we are so turned off by the tone, hysteria and divisive rhetoric that marks these debates. I believe that most Americans agree with where I stand, e.g., I don't want my kids reading books that promote racism, but I also don't want to ban Toni Morrison books from our school libraries.
I also teach my kids respect and tolerance. But it bothers me greatly that they are being asked for their pronouns in just the third grade. I took my son to a pride parade many years ago, but now I would never do it because, in my opinion, so much of what is happening at these events is not child-appropriate.
Where Has Common Sense Gone?
The debates we have at home are so radicalized that there is nobody defending common-sense positions that, in my opinion, and confirmed by polls, represents the view of a majority of American families. I would never go and protest outside the Moms for Liberty conference. But I also don't agree with everything that group defends and would never attend an event that gives a platform to Donald Trump. So that is to say: I have a moderate view that cant be easily assigned to one of the ‘sides’ of the culture war.
How to ‘Be the Change’ When You are Unheard?
I have been thinking a lot how people like me can be part of the debate. What I have learned in the past two years while serving on the Community Education Council for District 2 in Manhattan, is that a big part of the problem is that we are forcing families to send their kids to schools that don't share their values.
Every taxpaying resident of our city (and any city/town) around the country should be able to advocate for their children. And institutions and other families should not impose their beliefs upon a parent.
There are families who don't believe that standardized testing help kids learn— but they are forced into schools that require kids to take these tests. There is a large number of Americans who feel that what’s taught in the classroom runs counter to their beliefs.
For instance, Muslim families that don't want their kids attending schools that force their kids to celebrate values against their religion (and in some case even faced with compelled speech and a clear violation of their first amendment rights). And, finally, families that want schools to be a lot more structured and rigorous — but are told that is ‘elitist’ or families in terrible school districts with no school choice.
We Need the Freedom to Choose
My guess is that a more diverse selection of schools where families are in control and can choose the type of education best for their family is the way. Clearly, in a multicultural and diverse community like the US today, we can’t all agree on one type of education.
And I don't want to force any family to choose a classical education if you think your child would do better in a progressive school environment. I also will never admit that other people decide what is best for my kids— in my family, we strongly believe in a classical curriculum, standardized testing, and homework.
Losing Sight of True Privilege
Having grown up in Brazil I know how lucky my children are to grow up in the US. And every time I visit my homeland, I feel the same.
And so I will continue to commit myself to the true privilege we all share in living in the US: personal freedom.
And my hope is that moderates like me engage in the debate, so not only the radicals are heard. I didn't take my kids to the Pride parade. But on that day, a gay couple who is very close to our family came to visit us before our vacation. We played card games and talked about our summer plans. I don't need to take my kids to pride events to teach them tolerance. They learn this at home.
